I wonder why I have got friends.
Yes, I don't have many but the few I do - I ask myself - what did I do to deserve to call myself their friends?
I'm average, not pretty, not ugly, not smart and not too dumb. I don't have large dreams, I don't do much with my life and neither am I funny and/or fun to be with.
They are beautiful, self-confident, clever. They know what they want, they have dreams that they're on the verge of achieving. They change other's lives and they're never boring to be with.
I wonder what I did - for them - to like me?
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
The insects of hell
Ohey.
So today I decided to open my window. But - oh - what blocked my window's way? A A2 carton. A folded one. What did I obviously do? Get it out of the way and put it somewhere else.
What actually happened?
Insects came out of that carton. Two of them.
I didn't drop the carton (and wow, I didn't scream either) but I didn't put the carton where it was supposed to go. Seriously, that was so EWWW. How did they even get there?
Before I tell you how the story goes on; one more info on the carton:
I bought some drawing goodies last week (LAST!!). I then proceeded to take out the loose and small drawing tools and let the A2 photocartons remain inside. I figured I'd need the shipping carton - the one I got - to mail my art folder (for university applications) because it's big enough to fit in the A2 papers.
But since it takes so much space I just put it inside the narrow space beside my table and the wall (half blocking my window).
So, HOW the HECK were TWO insects born in the span of 7 days??? Can anyone answer me?
Also, my room's *coughs* getting *coughs* cleaned every week.
My brother was in the room when that event happened and he witnessed everything. I panicked and asked him what I should do - I actually considered trampling them to death but I didn't want dead insects to stick on my slippers so I trashed that idea. He told me I should just get the vacuum cleaner and vacuum them out of my room. They'd stay in the vacuum bag. I just hope so. They're in there right now. And the cleaning lady is coming in in 3 days anyway so the bag will be disposed of soon. Hopefully.
I trashed the carton btw.
Speaking of insects -
Last year my parents went on their honeymoon (their second after a year actually). So they were gone for 4 1/2 weeks while I was left to fend for myself. No worries, I made it through healthy and everything was fine. Except for two things. One of the things involves insects, so that's what I'm going to tell you now:
In the second week or so I encountered a bug. Dunno what kind of bug it was, but it was big, ugly and in my friggin' way. So I killed it.
Some days later I saw another one of those bugs. I didn't get to kill it though because it flew away to god knows where and I couldn't chase it with the eye anymore. My brother told me that he killed one an hour later.
Two days after (or so) I merrily went my way on to the toilet, sat and did my work. Yeah, I peed.
When I stood up to flush, what did I see? Yup, the insect, squished to death by my fat ass. WTH, HOW DID I NOT REALIZE THAT IT WAS UNDER ME AND I WAS CRUSHING IT.
Of course I screamed. Even though it was too late for anything anyway. The damage was done, I touched and squished it, it was dead and after a moment I was calm enough to shove it into the toilet bowl. BIG mistake. Do not ever attempt to flush an insect down your toilet. It always swims up. Yeah, I know it's dead but the water just takes it up cuz it - I think - has fat and you know how humans float up, too, because they have so much fat in their body?
Needless to say I didn't use that toilet for some days. Oh, and I cleaned it.
But ewww.
So today I decided to open my window. But - oh - what blocked my window's way? A A2 carton. A folded one. What did I obviously do? Get it out of the way and put it somewhere else.
What actually happened?
Insects came out of that carton. Two of them.
I didn't drop the carton (and wow, I didn't scream either) but I didn't put the carton where it was supposed to go. Seriously, that was so EWWW. How did they even get there?
Before I tell you how the story goes on; one more info on the carton:
I bought some drawing goodies last week (LAST!!). I then proceeded to take out the loose and small drawing tools and let the A2 photocartons remain inside. I figured I'd need the shipping carton - the one I got - to mail my art folder (for university applications) because it's big enough to fit in the A2 papers.
But since it takes so much space I just put it inside the narrow space beside my table and the wall (half blocking my window).
So, HOW the HECK were TWO insects born in the span of 7 days??? Can anyone answer me?
Also, my room's *coughs* getting *coughs* cleaned every week.
My brother was in the room when that event happened and he witnessed everything. I panicked and asked him what I should do - I actually considered trampling them to death but I didn't want dead insects to stick on my slippers so I trashed that idea. He told me I should just get the vacuum cleaner and vacuum them out of my room. They'd stay in the vacuum bag. I just hope so. They're in there right now. And the cleaning lady is coming in in 3 days anyway so the bag will be disposed of soon. Hopefully.
I trashed the carton btw.
Speaking of insects -
Last year my parents went on their honeymoon (their second after a year actually). So they were gone for 4 1/2 weeks while I was left to fend for myself. No worries, I made it through healthy and everything was fine. Except for two things. One of the things involves insects, so that's what I'm going to tell you now:
In the second week or so I encountered a bug. Dunno what kind of bug it was, but it was big, ugly and in my friggin' way. So I killed it.
Some days later I saw another one of those bugs. I didn't get to kill it though because it flew away to god knows where and I couldn't chase it with the eye anymore. My brother told me that he killed one an hour later.
Two days after (or so) I merrily went my way on to the toilet, sat and did my work. Yeah, I peed.
When I stood up to flush, what did I see? Yup, the insect, squished to death by my fat ass. WTH, HOW DID I NOT REALIZE THAT IT WAS UNDER ME AND I WAS CRUSHING IT.
Of course I screamed. Even though it was too late for anything anyway. The damage was done, I touched and squished it, it was dead and after a moment I was calm enough to shove it into the toilet bowl. BIG mistake. Do not ever attempt to flush an insect down your toilet. It always swims up. Yeah, I know it's dead but the water just takes it up cuz it - I think - has fat and you know how humans float up, too, because they have so much fat in their body?
Needless to say I didn't use that toilet for some days. Oh, and I cleaned it.
But ewww.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
The madness of sheets
Another 8 days have gone by!
Time sure flies fast.
...or maybe it just does for me 'cuz I have no school and job right now!
But fear not, next month (Yes, NEXT, as in November) I won't be online as often because I have work! Wooo! (Actually I'm not that happy about it, but then I'll finally stop feeling so bad about my RL.)
I'm so jelly of my best friend because she got into the army AND she has three months of free time because it begins next year ._.
Why do I have all this bad luck? OR is it rather that SHE has all the good luck?
/me cries
Anyways - let's get to today's topic (^see title):
What do I even mean? I was talking about piano sheets!
I have been playing the piano for a while; since 2006 I believe. But I didn't do it consistently.
You see, I got a teacher for about 6 months but decided to quit being taught by another because I'm:
- too lazy
- can't stand being pressured to play something I don't like
- didn't want to waste money since I knew I wasn't practising regularly
I figured I could play songs on my own as I already know how to read notes.
I always failed at rhythm (still do), so I'd have still failed with the teacher's advice.
How I solve the problem? Listen to the original song and play it exactly like that.
After those six months I played the piano on and off. Sometimes I would find some songs I really liked and just learned them. Sometimes it was too hard for me (as in I'm too lazy to learn something I need more hours than normal to learn) and sometimes there just wasn't any interesting, so I only played old songs on and on and on. (Even my parents were tired of those songs, olol.)
Anyways, recently I've been finding and listening to so many good songs and printing so many sheets - it's madness (:D).
Yes, yes, yet another entry full of weird sentences, mistakes and pointless stories.
Did I already mention that I have (at least) FOUR doctor appointments this month? One's already done though (1st of Oct.)
Time sure flies fast.
...or maybe it just does for me 'cuz I have no school and job right now!
But fear not, next month (Yes, NEXT, as in November) I won't be online as often because I have work! Wooo! (Actually I'm not that happy about it, but then I'll finally stop feeling so bad about my RL.)
I'm so jelly of my best friend because she got into the army AND she has three months of free time because it begins next year ._.
Why do I have all this bad luck? OR is it rather that SHE has all the good luck?
/me cries
Anyways - let's get to today's topic (^see title):
What do I even mean? I was talking about piano sheets!
I have been playing the piano for a while; since 2006 I believe. But I didn't do it consistently.
You see, I got a teacher for about 6 months but decided to quit being taught by another because I'm:
- too lazy
- can't stand being pressured to play something I don't like
- didn't want to waste money since I knew I wasn't practising regularly
I figured I could play songs on my own as I already know how to read notes.
I always failed at rhythm (still do), so I'd have still failed with the teacher's advice.
How I solve the problem? Listen to the original song and play it exactly like that.
After those six months I played the piano on and off. Sometimes I would find some songs I really liked and just learned them. Sometimes it was too hard for me (as in I'm too lazy to learn something I need more hours than normal to learn) and sometimes there just wasn't any interesting, so I only played old songs on and on and on. (Even my parents were tired of those songs, olol.)
Anyways, recently I've been finding and listening to so many good songs and printing so many sheets - it's madness (:D).
Yes, yes, yet another entry full of weird sentences, mistakes and pointless stories.
Did I already mention that I have (at least) FOUR doctor appointments this month? One's already done though (1st of Oct.)
Monday, October 1, 2012
Interlude III ~ Nothing To Be Proud Of
I'm a pretty good liar.
When I lie, I don't turn red. When I lie, I don't exactly stutter.
When I lie, I tell only the gist of it. When I lie, I sound as the situation deems appropriate.
When it's not necessary for me to lie, I do - just occasionally. But in those times I lie so that people can see through me. So that people assume, that I can't lie. That I'm not able to lie. That I'm a chaos, a mess when it comes to lying. That I turn red, that I stutter, that I avoid eye-contact, that my voice sounds just a pitch higher than normal - all those are the things which they think reveal the lie I'm telling or am about to tell.
So I lie obviously about harmless things regarding me, while I lie like I really lie when it's about something important to me which I do not want revealed.
So far everything's going as I think it is.
I don't think anyone's been able to see through my well-placed lies.
But it's nothing to be proud of.
When I lie, I don't turn red. When I lie, I don't exactly stutter.
When I lie, I tell only the gist of it. When I lie, I sound as the situation deems appropriate.
When it's not necessary for me to lie, I do - just occasionally. But in those times I lie so that people can see through me. So that people assume, that I can't lie. That I'm not able to lie. That I'm a chaos, a mess when it comes to lying. That I turn red, that I stutter, that I avoid eye-contact, that my voice sounds just a pitch higher than normal - all those are the things which they think reveal the lie I'm telling or am about to tell.
So I lie obviously about harmless things regarding me, while I lie like I really lie when it's about something important to me which I do not want revealed.
So far everything's going as I think it is.
I don't think anyone's been able to see through my well-placed lies.
But it's nothing to be proud of.
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